Tsunami
Solsticio de invierno,
Luna llena en cáncer.
Miso, seaweed salad,
mojito, martini de limón...
entonces tu voz,
acompaña el primer sorbo:
- Tenemos qe hablar.
Pensé:
‘ahora no por favor, ahora no’
Pero sentí
la urgente gravedad
con la qe amenazaban desbordarse
tus palabras.
Y asentí.
Solo recuerdo ‘honestidad’
‘no estoy presente’
‘disociación’, ‘cuerpo’
‘en mí ’.
Sentí mis hombros
hacerse piedra,
mis manos hincharse,
temí por un instante volverme roca
y dejar de respirar.
Yo era bosque lluvioso en Okinawa.
(o quizás Java)
Tú eras ola, inundándolo todo.
La mesera llegó con nuestro sushi.
Murmuré con torpeza
algo sobre repeticiones,
(en realidad quería decir duele,
no me dejes)
Tu respuesta fue maremoto
indignado
que me dejó muda
y algo tonta.
perdí el apetito.
tenías razón.
En mi celular descubrí,
que esa misma noche un tsunami arrasó
Labuhan, en Indonesia.
Al momento
suman 429 muertos.
Dicen los expertos
que la erupción del volcán
Anak Krakatoa, provocó la marejada.
Los internautas comparten el video viral
del momento en que una banda de rock y su público,
son tragados por la ola.
El dolor adquiere dimensiones
globalizadas surreales.
Otro diciembre, 14 años atrás
170,000 personas fueron engullidas
por una ola.
En Indonesia.
Tu tendrías 10 años,
yo, 29.
Son inmensos los instantes del planeta...
me sobrecojo y se hace chiquita
la ola que me engulle.
En este instante oscuro,
la insoportable circularidad
con la qe se repiten
- de forma asimétrica -
ciertos sucesos,
me indigesta.
Quisiera dar atrás al tiempo.
Quisiera ponerme en tu lugar
- y en el de otros -
Quisiera ser mejor.
Pero no puedo.
Estoy confinada a este cuerpo que envejece
y a sus memorias,
como por ejemplo,
que el sushi ya sabía a lágrimas,
dos años antes
de este instante.
Tsunami (trans.)
Summer solstice,
full moon in Cancer.
Miso, seaweed salad,
mojito, lemon martini…
Then your voice,
along with the first sip:
“We need to talk.”
I thought:
“Not now, please, not now.”
But I felt
the urgent weight
with which your words
threatened to overflow.
And I nodded.
I only remember “honesty,”
“I am not present,”
“disassociation,” “body,”
“in me.”
I felt my shoulders turning into stone,
my hands, bloating.
For an instant, I thought I would go mad and stop breathing.
I was a rainforest in Okinawa
(or maybe Java).
You were a wave, overpowering it all.
The waitress arrived with our sushi.
I awkwardly mumbled something about repetitions,
(I really wanted to say it hurts,
don’t leave me).
Your reply was a furious surge
that left me speechless
and somewhat bewildered.
I lost my appetite.
you were right
Through my cellphone I found out
that same night a tsunami had swept through Labuhan, Indonesia.
Currently,
the death toll is 429.
Experts say
that the eruption of Anak Krakatau
volcano caused the swell.
The internet users share the viral video
of the moment in which a rock band and the public
were swallowed up by the wave.
Pain now acquires surreal
global dimensions.
Another December, 14 years ago,
170,000 people were engulfed
by a wave in Indonesia.
You would have been 10 years old,
and I, 29.
The instants of the planet are vast…
I am overcome by feeling and the wave
that engulfs me becomes small.
In this bleak instant,
the unbearable circularity
with which certain events
-asymmetrically-
recur
gives me indigestion.
I want to go back in time.
I want to be in your place
-and that of others-
I want to be better.
But I can’t.
I am bound to this aging body
and its memories,
such as
the sushi that already tasted like tears
two years before
this instant.
Translator’s Note: Regarding punctuation marks, in Spanish conversations are usually punctuated by long dashes or occasionally hyphens. In the translation, hyphens used to indicate dialogue were substituted by quotation marks, per the usual English language usage. Yet, hyphens were preserved when they were used for emphatic purposes in the source text.original.